How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize