Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
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i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
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I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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