She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
it glows. i had to have it.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just high enough for therapy.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
