So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
