Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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