Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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