I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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