I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
