And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
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Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
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That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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