There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Randomize
