help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
