Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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