i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
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