Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
