Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
