i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just tell him i said nine months
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
