Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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