Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
