have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
