Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
