Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
