too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
