people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
