btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
