I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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