he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize