There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize