Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize