She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
