i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
