Umm I'm too high to move.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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