I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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