East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
im about as happy as oj after his trial
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize