East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
im about as happy as oj after his trial
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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