they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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