pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You need a sexual gate keeper
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
