I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
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