I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
soo... how was my night?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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