How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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