Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize