Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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