Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
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