he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
