There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
