I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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