oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
