Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
