Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
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