so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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