How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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