i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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