peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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