There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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