guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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