you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
