either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The beers last night were like the tears from god
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize