If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You pole danced in your parka.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize