In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
