I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
